My story begins really before I was born.

I am a child to two parents who have very bad culture clash. My mother (although technically the child of two Indian, immigrant parents) was born and raised in America. Born in the heart of the Windy City, Chicago, and raised mostly in white towns across Michigan forestry.

Not only did my mom go to a Catholic high school and was pretty much surrounded by suburban white, “American” culture, but of all the people I have known my mother is perhaps the most proud to be American. More than people like Linda Sarsour and Uncle Sam! She is not just politically active but she loves her country and works hard for it. She believes in the power of grit and lacing up your bootstraps and building yourself up to the top from perseverance and hard work. She is also very literally/culturally American. Her favorite foods include a good ole-fashioned Cheeseburger, mashed potatoes (or baked), pizza and hot dogs. She also values the American system of independence and individuality as opposed to the popular school of thought in the East- “collectivism.”

In either case, my mom is probably the most American you can get and its beautiful! ❤

Combine this with my father, born and raised in India his whole life, not necessarily a die hard, “INDIA RULES” kinda guy but he definitely knows his home country and loves it as much as anyone else loves their motherland. And you can bet, that if you’re married to a woman like my mom, where America is pretty much in your face day and night, you’d probably start to miss home too. Well anyway, that was how that started. Common in the Indian culture (not Muslim culture please don’t mix the two), my parents had an arranged marriage. Where they MET each other with their families, talked for some time, and ultimately decided to get married. My mother had just gotten into medical school and my father was finishing up. He stayed there for some months after they got married and he moved to America to live with my mom.

Now if I haven’t told you enough about how different my parents are let me break it down.
My father is confident, quiet, observant, loves to travel, introverted but excellent at networking, highly skeptical, highly critical (it’s the “constant need for improvement” bug that is engrained in most Indians), a morning person, a health nut, those “pursuing a healthy lifestyle” kind of people, can read people well (sometimes too well until he’s wrong), open-minded in terms of experiences, loves to try new things, risk-taker, and the jack of all trades.

My mother on the other hand is the complete opposite, she’s sociable but not good at networking, loud, excited, passionate, friendly, talkative, curious, a little unobservant (but sometimes that’s bliss), a complete night owl, accepting of anyone and everyone that comes her way, open-minded in terms of people, positive-nut, “the glass half full” type of person, kind, loyal, giving, extremely generous, genuine, not a risk-taker- she likes familiarity, and whatever work she is focused on she does it to the absolute best of her ability; sometimes even beyond that. She excels in whatever work she does but she also dedicates all of her focus and attention to that one thing. Kind of like a master of one. 🙂

Well, you can imagine how this relationship might’ve turned out. And I can go into the nits and grits of why I think this may not have worked out or what someone could’ve done to make it better but at the end of the day, it is what it is and only Allah swt is the one in control of this (of course we also have free will, perhaps I’ll write something on that later). There is no could’v,e should’ve, would’ve. It is what it is and the real question is how I react to it. How will I react to things that are out of my hands- things I cannot control? Like a parents’ long-winded journey to divorce.

More to come but this was the start! 🙂 Hopefully not too sad. You’ll come to know what amazing parents I’ve had and how much they’ve done for me and my sibling despite all these differences. There are people out in the world who don’t have a mother or father at all. Some people who don’t even know where they come from.
So to end in a way of gratitude I want to remember that the circumstances are what they are and I am a ridiculously lucky and blessed child. I’ve had people who have loved me unconditionally who in some cases didn’t have any reason to. So alhamdulillah and may Allah swt bless all the children out there to cope with the difficult family situations they are going through right now and to ultimately put their trust in Allah swt. Oh Turner of hearts, turn our hearts upon your path. Ameen! 🙂

But long story short this is the end of part 1. More to come!

Sincerely,

Sakeenah Tahir 🙂 ❤