"When I get older and have my own house, I want to organize little baskets under each sink that have- feminine products, baby diapers, as well as elderly diapers in every bathroom in my house. This is so that if anyone has an accident or should need something for whatever reason, they can easily help themselves without compromising their dignity."

As my grandfather gets older, I am repeatedly reminded of how lucky I am to be working in an ER that frequently sees patients his age. Every day I see at least a dozen elderly patients in their 60s, 70s, or 80s that come in for various reasons. Diabetes ulcer sores, bed sores, a trip and fall in their driveway, leg swelling, possible CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) due to leg swelling, rheumatoid arthritis, heart attack, End Stage Renal Disease, and the list goes on.

You may be wondering how on earth this may be a blessing other than to be reminded of how much it seems to suck to age, however I see it as a blessing in that I get to see the perspective of the elderly from multiple people’s perspectives. My grandfather is an Indian immigrant and he rarely shares personal stuff with anyone in his family and neither does my grandmother. But what they cannot or do not share with me, I am able to receive from some of our patients.

For instance, I never realized how truly painful rheumatoid arthritis was until I saw patients in the ER who would come in due to severe, throbbing pain in their left hand due to rheumatoid arthritis. The patient had been diagnosed only a few months prior and yet she was in so much pain. She described how difficult it was to do literally anything with her left hand. I remember standing there and realizing that my Nani (maternal grandmother) was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis over 8 or 9 years ago! And to make matters worse, my Nani’s arthritis spreads throughout all 4 extremities- both her hands, her legs, her elbows, her knees, etc, etc.

I honestly felt so terrible that my Nani had been going through this pain for so long and never once said anything. She would say “Allah!” every now and then when she would bend down to pick something up, but my family and I never thought much of it. Until now, when I suddenly realized what rheumatoid arthritis really meant. After that, I vowed to help my Nani as much as I could. Whenever there is a point in time that I can prevent her from having to pick up things or move her joints, I try my best to help out. So in this way, the job is blessing.

I am also able to see many of the common and preventable situations that elderly people, who live on their own, may find themselves in, such as a trip and fall (very common), DVT’s secondary to prolonged sitting, leg swelling, etc. When I learn about these, I try my best to do whatever I can to help (inshallah) prevent my grandparents from also experiencing these same situations.

For example, both my grandparents have Diabetes. So I try to make sure they frequently check their feet for possible infections regularly (alhamdulillah for wudu am I right?). I now see possible fall risks like phone cords laying about, and rugs, or small steps more easily, and thus work to try and remove the risk if possible.

This all brings me to the main point I listed above, and that is the dignity of the elderly. I realized many of our older patient’s in their 80s tend to have incontinence. Not due to any disease (alhamdulillah) or syndrome, but simply due to old age. These poor elderly people can barely even clean themselves and they usually live in nursing homes where they are not evaluated frequently.

These patients usually have to wear a diaper to help with incontinence. And unfortunately because they have difficulty washing themselves, their diaper is usually filled with feces when we open it. I feel so bad for them, how uncomfortable that must be to have to deal with something like this in your old age. When you’re a baby its fine and no one judges you, but when you are older, many times its a reason for people to look upon you with more disdain or lack of respect.

I am a big proponent of respecting your elders, so when I saw this, I realized that my own grandparents may go through this one day. And perhaps they may have an accident in their clothes that they then have to cover up and change, and also have to deal with their soiled clothes. It’s embarrassing and awkward having to leave a bathroom in someone else’s house with your clothes in hand, or just not fully protected and to then have to go to your suitcase, or purse to find the bathroom product you may need.

I think: If my grandfather were this person, I would not want him to have to go through such an uncomfortable situation. I would love it if someone just had these amenities in every bathroom, so if my grandfather did have a situation, he could quickly and easily clean himself up without anyone being the wiser. It dignifies him.

And for someone who literally did so much for me as a kid, (he literally cleaned my brother’s poop off of a door once because my brother had smeared it there) I feel like that is the least I could do- for him, and any other elderly people that step into my house.