June 30th, 2018- Day 1 of Trip

Today we saw the most beautiful indescribable hills as we drove through Pennsylvania. It just left me at a loss for words. The mountains kept climbing higher and higher, and wherever we looked it was covered with lush green trees. In some instances we were on a bridge and the trees grew up, beyond the bridge. Additionally, as we drove up and through the mountains, there would be graded rocks on either side of the road. They were every shade and color- from orangey red to beige to even purple, like a plum maroon color. It was so beautiful Subhanallah, Allahuakbar, May Allah (swt) continue to spread peace and beauty, Ameen. The rest of the day was spent driving until we arrived in DC. I forgot to mention that we spent about 15 minutes taking photos for Henry’s Instagram. It honestly works though because he likes good photos and being in them for his Instagram account. Meanwhile, I like taking the photos and being behind the camera. I like to be able to direct the person in the photo in order to make it the best photo, and to capture the most amount of beauty in one photo.

• A note on this:
  • As I read the last portion of this note I realize the slight sarcastic or sassy remark with which I describe taking photos for my brother. In all honesty though, instead of focusing on the fact that I might’ve been a teensy tiny bit annoyed of taking my brother’s photos, the reality is that I had fun! Who knows though, maybe things are just rosier the longer time passes. I am thankful to note that the Sakeenah from today is hopefully far less judgemental of her brother and what he does compared to the Sakeenah of 2018. I think I had not let go of the fact that my brother was growing into his own person, and that version was not necessarily going to be someone I agreed with on everything. But learning to respect who he is, Exactly as he is, without the desire to want to change him, was a lesson that brought me so much more relief, and a lesson worth learning.

July 2nd, 2018- Day 3 of Trip

Today’s morning was filled with a peaceful calm that comes with a full house, good food, and beautiful sunlight. Lena read a book on the newly made takhat (that Azlan uncle made), the elders told us stories about India. I played with the cats and they are so adorable and bring so much joy. I went out with Dan uncle, Amir mamoo, and Henry, just to the local pharmacy, but it was nice to get out of the house. All 4 of us along with Lena then played an intense game of “Overcooked.” I felt a little ignored every now then as I was teased a little but it was such a petty thing. Tbh I don’t know how to react when people make fun of you. Do you get defensive and argue back? Do you just accept it? Do you laugh it off? At this point, I just awkwardly say sorry and then the person feels bad. I know the best way is to come up with some snyde, witty remark or retort to give back but I just cannot think of anything.

If anything, my verbage/ use of language is much more flowery than it is quick-witted. Anyways, I have dedicated too much space to a petty thing such as this.

Next, we all went to the boardwalk/National Harbor. The views were breathtaking! I think “the capital wheel” is the tallest ferris wheel I’ve ever been on! It was wonderful. (I remember this. We were standing in the summer heat of the night, and when we went up in the Ferris Wheel we could see all of DC before us, glittering in the glory of highway lights and head lights.) We also ate at a seafood place where I got to hear about Lena’s dorming situation and connect. We got ice cream and took photos.

• What I can’t forget:
  • The look of the street lights on the water and how they glimmered and shined upon the black moving surface (aka the water lol).

July 7th, 2018- Saturday, Trip Back Home

Today we are on our way back from the D.C. trip. Alhamdulillah, Allah swt truly never deprives us because He really put barakah in this trip. Everyone got along, we felt closer to each other, and most importantly, I feel like I got closer to Allah (swt) from it. (Excuse the handwriting, I am in a car). My “Sophia” auntie, I noticed, is very punctual with her prayers, subhanallah. Not just fajr, but every salah she makes sure to make it a priority, and she never misses fajr from what I can see. May Allah (swt) continue to put barakah in her salah. Ameen.

Anywho, seeing that made me realize, I want need to get better at making my salah a priority. I think another reason her salah is so well (I would now have replaced this word with “impeccable”)is because of how good she is to her parents. She serves them and is obedient and I see how Azlan uncle gives his duas for her. So I want to make my salah a priority and treat my parents (BOTH) with the utmost respect and obedience. I realize it will be hard because of my ego, but no victory came about without a fight. So I will give it my best and inshallah, Allah (swt) can help me with the rest.

I later made a little diagram that I called the OPP Project (face palm lol you adorable little 21 year old Sakeenah you) in order to be more patient and obedient to my parents. I will save myself from the mild embarrassment of having to write out the little diagram and just the project in general LOL. But I thought in the spirit of honoring authenticity and preservation, I should at least mention that I wrote it. Mention my embarrassing little thoughts, alas.

7/7/2018- Saturday, Trip Back Home (A Separate Post)

Today I saw a beautiful valley with homes and these large, overpowering, and tall hills/mountains surrounding the valley. The mountains were blanketed with trees and the background was a clear blue sky. Allahuakbar, subhanallah, how glorious is Allah (swt).

The End. 🙂

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It’s interesting reading this 3 years later and looking at my thought patterns. If I’m being honest, I wish I could say I have “changed soo much” 3 years later, but unfortunately I think I am still the same. Some people say its a sign of a soft heart but on the other side it could just be a sign of weakness- (that I don’t know how to return with a sassy remark when people try to make fun of me.) And then other times its not either of those and I’m just super sensitive.

As I reflect now though, I can say, it is difficult for someone who has been gas-lighted by her father all her life to discern when I am just “being too sensitive” or when the anger and hurt that I am feeling is worthy and validated, or aka not too petty.

Of course, I’m told by my therapist that your feelings can never be invalidated so that’s a whole ‘nother story.

In either case, I wanted to record this to remember the DC trip. Plus I liked a lot of the wording I used to described the landscapes of Pennsylvania in these pieces. I hope you can enjoy whatever wisdom (or lack thereof) my 21 year old self could share! 🙂

Below are a few photos from the trip. In looking over them I realized I forgot a lot! Like the seafood place for Amir’s birthday, and the boat trip with Nani and Nanaba, and the restaurant at the business park where I first tried Poke at, and it was delicious.