I realized something today. Why i hate doing aba serving this person in my life. Perhaps there’s a tiny bit of me that hasn’t forgiven them yet, but the real, major, core of why i have trouble is this persons manners. I just realized what people mean by hyderabadi vs my nani’s culture.

The truth is, that person in my life might be rich, but they have the manners of a street urchin. And in my pride and ego, I don’t like bringing myself below that person or that level of mannerisms in general. So i refuse to obey and listen. it makes me wonder did no one teach them? Did their parents not have them? I realize there’s more than one way to be “above” someone and its not just in money. Its in manners. True noble men and women have This nobility and aura about them. It is free of pride and full of mercy. And I’ve seen this even in those slaves and servants before the civil war. People might have taken their rights but they could not remove the nobility that resisted in some of these People’s hearts. They weren’t scared they were noble.

So as I am realizing this, I start to think, wow I want to be like that! Until I realize something worse… I am copying that person I dislike. I’m turning into them when it comes to manners. I have almost none. I have this attitude of saying whatever I want whenever I want to. I don’t value holding my tongue or performing services for someone I don’t respect. And I am brash, loud, and have the manners… of a street urchin…😔

Oh Allah help me be better. Not because of anyone but so that this part of my life can become my greatest life saver instead of my greatest downfall and sin. Ameen.