Vocab Story

– Can you guess what the underlined words mean?

Set the scene. A Korean drama-esque setting. A chaeboel and his family are sitting at the dining table. His mother is opulently dressed in silk and a pure fox fur shawl. You can tell from her muted talk that she is not a naturally gregarious person unlike her son, who seeks out parties and company throughout all 24 hours of the day.

To his left is his sister who has just walked in, in a short skirt and blouse. Although she is naturally pulchritudinous, the layers and cakes of foundation on her face start to morph her beautiful face into one with a more spurious look as though she were a Barbie doll with a painted on face. Her mother glances at her and asks “You’re wearing that outside?” she states in a very candid but also demeaning tone. Her daughter replies with a swift and witty riposte “i only ever get my style from my very fashionable mother” she says without even looking up from her phone. The flat affect on her face indicates that her reply was laced with sarcasm.

The camera pivots to the front where the chaebeol’s father sits at the head of the table. He is a quiet man with an enigma about him that confuses most of his clients. As a businessman he is certainly no neophyte to the world of negotiation, and his perfected poker face only increases his ability to make good sales.

At last the food is brought in. The servers walk in a line but the head of the servers is the one with the most sour look, as if the frown has been etched in stone onto her face for years and years. She has a noisome scent that envelops the room the very minute she walks through the door. Its as if a cadaver were hiding under her skirts or a poisonous disease, endemic on her body was present, that no amount of perfume could hide.

Penury= extreme poverty/ “he died in a state of virtual penury”
Sanguine= optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation
Appraise= assess the value or quality of something, set a price of value to something/ she stealthily appraised him in a pocket mirror/ they appraised the painting at $200,000
Ascertain= verb,  find something out for certain, make sure of/ an attempt to ascertain the cause of the accident
Assay= verb, to determine the content or quality of (metal or ore)
Descry= to catch sight of/ she descried two figures.
Anomaly= something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected./
Homonym= when two words are spelled exactly the same but mean two different things- like bear (noun) and bear (verb)
Epigram= a pithy saying or remark expressing an idea in a clever and amusing way/ At his daughter’s wedding, Jason shared a heartwarming epigram he had written.
Graphite= a gray crystalline allotropic form of carbon which occurs as a mineral in some rocks and can be made from coke. It is used as a solid lubricant (Google)

Vocab Story

– Can you guess what the underlined words mean?

The history of the 1920s is an interesting one. The young generation was too excited to spurn the traditions of their ancestors as youth will do every generation cycle. Young women would deprecate the idea of a “good little girl” by openly smoking to show women could do this act as well (although lets be honest it didn’t matter who did it, it was a very unhealthy, and dangerous act (thank goodness it is unpopular today).

The “Roaring Twenties” as it came to be known involved large tax cuts, freeing citizens from confiscatory taxes that kept them from earning their well-deserved wages. You would think this governmental success for the people would leave citizens feeling satisfied and full of cheery, blithe emotions. But the youth of this era were not done yet. They were fighting for much more. Their bellicose attitude towards their time and place was not to be misread. They were sick of spurious politicians who spoke one thing while their policies spoke another. Their campaign managers would go on and on extolling their politicians’ picture perfect, clean records when in reality they were not so clean at all.

But the youth’s galvanizing spirit ignited even older generations to get up and fight back for what was rightfully theirs. Some even went as far as to sojourn outside governmental buildings for long periods of time; sometimes days, weeks, or even months! Having the older generation join the revolution greatly helped because they had the consummate knowledge and experience that their youthful counterparts lacked. This resulted in an effortless up”roar” that could not have been easier.

Please note that not all the information in this paragraph is factually correct. Some of it was made up for the sake of using these vocabulary words. Thank you!

~Sakeenah Tahir

New words to study for next post’s vocab story:

Opulently: ostentatiously rich and luxurious or lavish/ the opulent comfort of a limousine
Riposte: a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism
Candid: truthful and straightforward, candid
Endemic: regularly found among particular people or in a certain area.
Neophyte: a person who is new to a subject, skill, or belief
Gregarious: sociable, fond of company
Noisome: having an extremely offensive smell
Pulchritudinous: beautiful
Cadaver: a corpse
Enigma: a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

In an attempt to rekindle my mantra- “Don’t ever give up. The only true failure is when you stop trying.” I am making a “new” resolution. Scratch that, I am renewing an age old goal of mine:

Wake up early.

Its been a hard task that is constantly a struggle for me. But if my mother (the night owl from birth) can do it, who can’t right? So, how will I wake up early?

First of all, set the affirmation.

I will get up before 10:00 am every day/consistently. I can do this. I will do this. Starting on the first morning of the last ten days of this year’s Ramadan- May 25, 2019. 

Second (but technically always put Allah first), set your intentions/pray to Allah swt.

I pray to Allah swt that He helps me to achieve this goal. Ya Allah, you are the greatest of Helpers, when we take one step towards You, You take ten steps towards us. And when we walk towards you Ya Allah swt, you will run towards us. So I pray that you run towards me Ya Allah and help me in succeeding this affirmation so that I can better serve and worship you Ya Allah (swt). Ameen!

Thirdly, in detail, why am I doing this?

It will make your lifestyle better, you can achieve your career goals better, you will make your parents proud, you have a higher chance of study success and overall life success as well as higher chance of praying all salah. 

Fourth and finally, set your subgoals.

– Waking up early requires me to sleep at a decent hour. Sleep at 12:00/12:30 seems reasonable for now.
– If I have the urge to go back to bed, use the rubber band technique or run outside.
– (a few more. will update this later)

In either case, my point is I want to better myself. In addition to these subgoals, I am acknowledging that I NEED therapy (at least definitely at this point) to properly function and keep level headed and consistent. Without things to keep me busy (like my student organization that I left recently), I get in my head a lot and going 6+ months without therapy is taking its toll on me. SO, I want to start that up again. I am also coming to terms with the fact that I most likely need to take medication and I am willing to try again what my Psychiatrist has recommended.

Let this be a witness that I am saying and admitting that I need to and will try to take medication if this is what needs to be done.

Now that I have set all this in place and written/typed it out, I need to follow through! See you on the other side by tomorrow morning, before 10:00 am, bright and early! 🙂

Sincerely,

Yours truly, Sakeenah Tahir

Vocab Story
– Can you guess what the underlined words mean?

She sat in her boss’ office perusing through the Times magazine on her desk. In reality, she should have been worried because she was not aware of the ignominy that was about to ensue. The putative condition of Ashley’s reputation at her work was not exactly what she thought it was. In fact, her boss had found some things on her social media accounts that seemed to have been leaked to the rest of the company.

Unfortunately, her boss was not known to be a very open-minded person and against her sectarian views she had decided to accept Ashley into her company despite her views on abortion and the Pro-Choice/Pro-life principle.

Unlike the Pro Life/Pro Choice matter however, this mistake that Ashley made was incontrovertible.

Her boss walked into the room. “How are you Ashley?” she said, in a rather harried manner. She was not only nervous about having this discussion with Ashley, but her daughter had called in sick a few minutes ago and she was in a hurry to leave soon.

New words to study for next post’s Vocab Story:

Spurn: to show unwillingness to accept, do, engage in, or agree with./ Fiercely independent, the elderly couple spurned all offers financial help.
Deprecate: to express scornfully one’s low opinion of…, belittle, bad mouth, decry/ movie critics tried to outdo one another in deprecating the comedy as the stupidest movie of the year.
Extol: to proclaim the glory of/ campaign literature extolling the candidate’s military record
Blithe: having or showing a good mood or disposition, cheery, bright, buoyant, etc./ a blithe, obedient child.
Bellicose: aggressive, argumentative, feeling or displaying eagerness to fight.
Spurious: fake, unnatural, not of natural quality, made with the intention of committing fraud/ claimed that the governor’s election-year enthusiasm for conservation was spurious, since he had cut funding for state parks (Merriam Webster).
Consummate: having or showing exceptional knowledge or experience in a particular field or endeavor
Confiscatory: relating to or effecting confiscation/ if tax rates escalated any further, taxes would become confiscatory, allowing hard-working individuals to keep little of their well-earned income!
Sojourning: a temporary residing as another’s guest, staying in, residing in temporarily/ She decided to teach English in Korea, sojourning in that country for a year.
Galvanize: to cause a pleasurable stimulation of feelings, charge, electrify, excite/ theatergoers were galvanized by the actor’s powerhouse performance as Hamlet.

Spurious Synonyms, Spurious Antonyms. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/spurious

Today I’d like to discuss a hidden gem I’ve found within the Muslim community in regards to mental health, and that is….The FYI- The Family and Youth Institute

The FYI is actually an organization founded by one of my role models Dr. Sameera Ahmed. She was a speaker at a few of the ISNA conferences I’ve attended in the past few years and is a Muslim Clinical Psychologist (whaaa??? that’s exactly what I want to be!!). She spoke at numerous panels and lectures at the conference regarding mental health.

Well, I recently found she also started an organization called the The Family and Youth Institute. Perhaps one of the first of its kind, this organization does research on the Muslim demographic, and provides solutions for many of the pressing problems in our communities from a psychological perspective. They examine issues in our community that many of us are not willing to admit; like the fact that 57% of Muslim males and 48% of Muslim females in college have been involved in pre-marital sex. Or the fact that in regards to trying alcohol, females have actually ranked higher at 48% while males ranked 45%. And these stats are of course not to shame anyone but rather to acknowledge that this is a reality. That Muslim students are not immune to engaging in risk behaviors, and that rather than trying to deny it, we should be trying to help them. How do we approach children who are involved in these behaviors. The sahabah weren’t perfect, sometimes they engaged in these behaviors, but The Prophet (s) did not condemn them from the community because of it. From this perspective, FYI comes in to try and assist communities in creating a more welcoming environment.

We need to work on creating an environment in which students can go to for help. And risk behaviors isn’t the only thing that The FYI researches. They do research on many things including bullying prevention and elder care. They also have an entire toolkit of resources dedicated to Suicide Prevention and Intervention. So if there is anyone out there struggling with this, and looking for a sign here it is. Go check out their list of toolkits at this link!

When I found this I was very excited about the research from the clinical psychologist point of view. I also loved that the people there were not afraid to discuss mental health. Rather, they made it a priority and the focal point of much of their discussions.

The fact of the matter is that there are dozens upon hundreds of issues that we as Muslims, scratch that, we as people face every day. Difficulty with our parents, burnout, unknown career choices, stressful pressure for a career choice, loneliness, loss, and the list goes on. When we don’t know where to go it is most definitely important to look to God and cry out for help. But after that, we have to do something. We’ve got to “tie our camel.” We can’t just sit and wait for Allah (swt) to just magically cure us.

When you have a broken bone in your leg, do you just pray to Allah (swt) to completely cure it and then sit at home to let it persist until it goes away? No, you go to the doctor, you pray everything will be alright, you get a diagnosis and a treatment plan, and you pray Allah (swt) will make that treatment plan a success. Point is, you are proactive in your process of trying to fix this broken bone of yours. And in addition you are constantly remembering Allah (swt) throughout the process.

I think something a lot of people tend to forget is that we as humans are not like rocks. We don’t just sit aimlessly by the wayside and let the systems and things around us do whatever they will to us. No, we on the other hand have something called agency. The ability and choice to get up, and make things happen. We know that our actions can create change, can have affects on other beings, things, and items around us, we can influence.

Its really such a powerful tool that Allah (swt) gave us. And not only this, but He gave us the knowledge to be able to reflect, and the wisdom to recognize this agency we have. A river can create change by eroding rocks, but without ever knowing it. A lion can create an effect in the ecosystem when killing its prey without ever being aware of it. But we, we have this amazing ability to change whole ecosystems, vote in political systems, change daily habits, MAKE CHANGE and simultaneously be aware of it. This is all agency. All the actions that we do that causes an effect in something else.

So with this beautiful gift God gave us, it is important that we take it up whole heartedly. Use it. Use your agency to make something happen- including taking care of and protecting your mental health. Allah swt will most definitely be there by your side for He is closer to you than your own jugular vein. But you must also work for your own change and success.

With that tangent aside, I really respect The FYI for these resources they’ve provided for us and I hope you can check it out and learn even more about the hidden gem that it is. Happy reading and Asalamualaikum! 🙂

Writing Prompt (in an attempt to practice gratitude): Write about the last thing or person that made you smile.

The last thing… Not the most frequent but the last thing….Okay.

The last thing that made me smile was my friend Annie’s phone call. I recently had to go to the ER for a condition and was admitted into hospitals and in and out of doctor’s appointments. To top that off I’d been in this slump. I had no energy to work (even though I was discharged and physically had no pain). I just sat in front of the TV all day. And I mean literally all day.

In some sense, as I look back, I realize I may have been a little hard on myself. Its okay to take a break once in a while. But, I wasn’t feeling it. I was feeling like a failure and didn’t want to talk to anyone. One of my best friends from down south called when she heard I went to the ER and I didn’t even call her back. She was so worried.

So lets set the scene, it Thursday night, I’m sitting in my dimly lit room with my eyes glued to the laptop screen, watching yet another one of my tv shows. I’m almost at the end of the season really. I’ve binged watched all the episodes in the span of about 5 days. My phone’s been getting messages- people asking me how i’m doing, how i’m feeling. Notifications telling me to pray and I just haven’t done it yet. My friend Annie texts me. I see she’s called about 2 hours ago but I don’t call her back.

Then she calls again. I’m looking at my phone watching it buzz and in a split second I’ve picked it up and answered (thank goodness for my reflex or whatever that was!). And long story short she had just called me to see how I was doing.

“I just wanted to check in on you and see how you were doing Sakeenah” she says.

And in that moment I smiled; and so did my heart. For the next hour and 46 minutes we talked. About my favorite topic of course- Islam. We talked about gender relations and things we need to watch out for. Things we need to improve ourselves on. It was so rejuvenating for my soul to be able to talk to someone who valued self-improvement as much as I did. Sure, I may be a perfectionist, but at the end of the day I thrive on knowing that I am working towards improving myself in some way. I think its a characteristic that can be good or bad depending on the way you look at it.

But we talked about other things as well. We talked about life in general. How we view the world, and for the first time I met someone who didn’t feel the way I practiced my religion was incorrect. We agreed. She kept taking the words out of my mouth. I didn’t feel like I was defending an overthought idea of mine as much as I was learning from her wisdom. And it wasn’t sudden or drastic, but I felt a little better. I felt a little more motivated. I felt that much more ready to try and read my prayers again, and come back to Allah swt, and get out of this slump. I’m still in the slump a little but I’m doing better. I’m not self-loathing and I’m doing my best.

In fact, for the record, I was able to complete a paper I had due on Friday at midnight by 7:00 PM! I’ve written two blog posts so far and I’ve checked some emails and emptied some inboxes. So by that standard I’m doing just fine and I’m proud of it.

So that was one of the most recent moments that made me smile. And when I went to bed that night I’m pretty sure I still had a slight smile swiped across my face.

…..
The end! 🙂

Here’s to a post for friendships! May God grant anyone reading this the best of company and people who will always remind you of God and your place in this world. May He grant you the best of company and keep you far way from anyone who is not of that caliber. May He bless you with people who will reach out to you, take your hand and make you smile when you don’t have the energy to do it yourself. Ameen!

🙂

I’m not going to lie, I’m in a slump. I’m barely getting to write this blog post only because my friend kind of helped me get a little out of the slump. But seriously, I feel so bla about things right now. Like I have no motivation to get up, or pursue my dreams, my career, sometimes even my salah. I’ll just sit there looking at the clock knowing full well that its time for salah and may Allah swt forgive me out of His immense mercy and forgiveness but I get lazy. I give into shaitan, I don’t pray, then I feel worse about myself and the cycle continues on for the next prayer… and the next prayer… and the next prayer.

I know I’ve already done a post about this, but its at times like this that I try to make a dua.

“Oh Turner of hearts, turn my heart upon your path.” In unemotional desperation, there’s a tiny part of my heart screaming “Sakeenah DON’T listen to the shaitan! Don’t let your laziness get the best of you, and for sure DO NOT let your heart die.” There’s a tiny part of myself that keeps telling myself ohh I’ll just regain my motivation for salah tomorrow. But the other part of me is saying, no. If you miss enough salah, your heart is going to seal shut and you’ll never feel anythign for Islam, for salah, for your one and only God ever again.
And so in that peak moment, with that tiny desperation and fear of having my heart sealed I make a dua. I’m not sure how sincere it is. I do it within 30 seconds and then proceed to watch whatever TV show I was watching again. But I still make the dua. And it helps. I’ll come back the next day and feel a teeny bit more khushoo and concentration in my salah.

The other thing that helps is good company/friends whom you can really and truly be honest with. People whom you can actually talk about Islam with. This is what happened to me. I was in the slump and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Ignored phone calls, didn’t call anyone back, and binge watched a TV show all week and skipped all my classes (I also had a health concern but technically I still could’ve gone to class). Anyway, my friend texts me, I reply.

Then my friend calls me….I wait.

Finally I have to pick up the phone since I just texted her and I finally talk to a human being. And she tells me how are you? And I finally admit that I am not okay, I’m in a slump, I need help. And we talk it out, she revives and rekindles this spirit in me again, and well here I am now.

I’m okay, I’m not like on a high of passion but I’m in an okay place. Trying to continue praying all my salah.

But yeah, if I can give any advice for people trying to get their salah finally pat down is to 1) not give up, 2) make dua (even if it feels insincere), and 3) keep good company and if you can, force yourself to reach out to them.

We’re never too old to call someone up and just have a conversation.

I hope someone out there can find this beneficial inshallah!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

I’m not sure that any one of us really understands the power of dua. When my non-Muslim friends ask me what the difference is between dua, and salah I try to explain to them the difference. One marked difference is that dua is embedded in salah and it is a type of prayer in which you simply ask God for anything and everything you want. You can make it at any time, any place, and however many times you want. But the magical thing about dua is not necessarily its fluidity in terms of when you can say it but rather in the binding it does between an individual and their one and only, Allah (swt).

You see, the dua is only as powerful as the person holding it, makes it out to be. This is why in Islam the dua is called “The weapon of the believer.” (For the love of all that is good please don’t go around calling me violent just because I used the word weapon, in fact this is the most peaceful, yet powerful kind of weapon if you think about it).

Anyway, its called the weapon of the believer because it can do anything. You make dua and you ask Allah swt for whatever you want, a car, a nice house, a pet cat, an A on your next exam. You could ask for intangible things like love, and an easy pregnancy or an easy exam, or lots of good company. But the ones who truly know how to yield their weapon well, and use it in the most efficient way possible are those who ask for things that will bring them closer to Him. Not only this but they make dua for everything. Every little thing they are constantly aware that Allah swt is there, with them, and can help them.

Now why am I talking about all this, well because for the first time in my life, after many many many years of making dua I realized that while I was making it, I wasn’t completely relying on Allah (swt). I wasn’t asking for the right things because there were some great things that a part of my heart felt like it wasn’t possible. What am I talking about? Depression- my illness, Clinical Depression.

For as long as I have had depression I have always seen it the way my society sees it- that it is a life-long illness that you will have forever. That you can take pills to curb the effects but you have to take the pills forever, that even if you change your lifestyle, etc, you will still always be stuck with this disease.
And while this is true sometimes, I realized there is also a chance that for me it could not be, yknow why? Because I have Allah (swt). And so at that moment I put my hands up to the sky and I prayed to Allah swt that He cure me of my illness. For once I wasn’t praying for others to understand my illness, for me to learn to get through my illness, for me to find a spouse who can understand my illness, no I prayed for Allah (swt) to CURE my illness.

Because if I was truly a Muslim, and if I was truly a Mu’min, then I knew that Allah swt created EVERYTHING including mental illnesses, including mine. And I prayed to Allah. I made salat-ul-istikharah asking Him to lead me to what was best for me. If it was medication, then I would take it because I would it was what Allah swt wanted. And I didn’t just make dua I took/am takng action. To better my lifestyle and improve myself and my daily routine. And I continue to pray that Allah swt remove from me my depression and cure me of my illness.

In either case, this is my point, that never doubt Allah’s ability in anything. If you are suffering from a mental illness, take your medication, and listen to your therapist, but don’t forget Allah swt. Let Him be the first one that you reach out to in times of need. Let Him be the first one to lean on when you are struggling because He is Al- Adheem.

I hope this post finds you in the best of states, and if I have said anything wrong it is entirely of my own mistake and not of my religion’s. And if there is anything that I said that was of benefit, it was only by Allah swt that I was able to do it.  Keep trekking!

I will hopefully be posting more frequently in the coming days!